Medieval monks and nuns lived by rules that demanded three vows: chastity, obedience and poverty. Problems arose with all three at times, and oft repeated regulations about careful segregation of the sexes, and even of youth and adults of the same sex within monasteries tell us that curbing physical desire was a challenge for many. Nuns were seen as particularly vulnerable, yet because religious women could not perform the sacraments (like mass and confession) for themselves, at least one ordained priest and often other men were required to serve female communities. The role of such men was to provide spiritual, sometimes intellectual guidance: to touch the souls and minds of their charges, but never their bodies. In many instances, this worked just as monastic superiors would have it, but a union of loftier ideals could lead to more worldly pleasures.

Goscelin of Saint-Bertin (c.1040-1114) and Eve of Wilton (c.1058-1120)

Goscelin, a monk from the French monastery of Saint-Bertin, was among the most learned and gifted writers of his time. Eve was a novice and nun of Wilton, a centre of women’s learning where Goscelin served as both chaplain and author. Goscelin also appears to have been Eve’s tutor, likely hired by her noble parents when she was still a child, and the affection with which he writes to her in the long autobiographical letter he called the Comforting Book is palpable. He tells of their long connection through books, church ceremonies, reciprocal acts of kindness, and mutual pleasure in each other’s company, but he also mourns their separation.

It seems that Eve decided to leave England and become a recluse on the continent–chose, that is, a more rigorous ascetic life that would have delighted many spiritual guides–and departed without consulting or saying farewell to Goscelin. In the early parts of the Book he expresses his shock and grief in terms so heartfelt that they are suggestive even in the context of heightened emotions characteristic of contemporary documents of spiritual friendship. Although there is nothing in what he writes that certainly indicates a sexual dimension to their relationship, many readers have detected hints of such intimacy and its dangers in both his language and Eve’s unannounced retreat.

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